Are You In a Safe Relationship?
All couples have conflicts, arguments, and disagreements. However, when these exchanges turn into emotional or psychological assaults, or sexual or physical abuse, something much more serious may be occurring. It may be domestic (family) violence or partner abuse.
Does your partner:
- Constantly criticize you and your abilities as a person, partner or employee?
- Act overly protective toward you or become extremely jealous?
- Call you names or fight with you in front of friends and family?
- Threaten to hurt you, children, pets, family members, friends or him/herself?
- Prevent you from seeing family or friends?
- Suddenly get angry or lose his/her temper?
- Destroy your personal property?
- Deny you access to family assets such as bank accounts, credit cards and cars?
- Control all of your finances or withhold money from you?
- Intimidate or manipulate you to control you or the children?
- Hit, punch, slap, kick, shove or bite you?
- Prevent you from going places?
- Force you to have sex?
- Harass you while you are at work?
You are not alone
People in all communities, from every cultural background and ethnic group, are being victimized. Domestic violence happens to girls and boys, young women and men, and the elderly alike. It happens to the very rich and the very poor. It occurs in same-sex and opposite-sex relationships.HIP is here to help
When you are a victim of abuse, sometimes it's hard to make sense of what's happening to you, and sometimes it's hard to know what to do about it. You may feel confused, embarrassed or afraid. But domestic violence/ partner abuse is not your fault. No one deserves to be abused.If you think you may be a victim of domestic violence/partner abuse, you have many options. There is a wide range of community services and legal protection for you, including support groups, court advocacy for victims and family members, telephone hotlines, and shelters.
As part of HIP's effort to reach out to all of our members, we've informed our participating physicians how to screen patients who may be at risk for domestic or partner abuse. Your physician may ask you about domestic violence/partner abuse during your routine medical visit.
If you want help, your provider can get you the support and assistance you need.
The first step
To understand the confusion, uncertainty and fear you may feel about what's happening to you, the first thing to do is talk to someone who can help. Even if you are not seeking to end the relationship, there is help for you and your family. Our participating doctors can put you in touch with the social, legal, health care and housing services you need. So, if you want help, speak with your provider. And you should also feel free to contact your OB-GYN, midwife, pediatrician (baby doctor), nurse or mental health provider if you have questions or concerns. Whatever you say will be kept confidential.Talking about this is not easy. But not talking about it is worse. Without help, domestic violence is likely to get worse over time, creating more danger for you and your children. HIP is committed to increasing your awareness of domestic violence and to helping you if you are a victim of it.
To get help
- Talk to your doctor or mental health provider.
- Call the New York State Coalition Against Domestic Violence (available 24-hours)
- 1-800-942-6906 (English)
- 1-800-942-6908 (Spanish)
- Call Safe Horizon, a 24-hour New York City domestic violence hotline
- 1-800-621-HOPE (1-800-621-4673)
- 212-233-3456 (if you have a hearing or speech impairment and use a TDD)
- Call the New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project Hotline
- 212-714-1141
- Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (available 24 hours)
- 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
- 1-800-787-3224 (if you have a hearing or speech impairment and use a TDD)
- For medical emergencies, or if you are in immediate danger, dial
- 911
